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“A wrong decision is not a catastrophe”
Interview with Maya Storch. She has researched decisions for years. Today she heads the Institute for Self-Management and Motivation Zurich (ISMZ)
Tolfioow: We constantly have to make decisions, which often proves to be quite stressful. What speaks against simply letting yourself drift?
MAJA STORCH: In fact, all these decisions are annoying. And the number is growing: nowadays we have to choose between 30 television programs and 50 types of washing machines. And these are just the small everyday decisions. More important are those with whom we shape our lives. If we don’t decide, others will, and that would be fatal. At some point we realize: That can’t have been my life. That’s how many people feel in midlife.
But can you really cheat your way to 45 without even having decided once?
It doesn’t necessarily mean that these people avoided making choices. They simply didn’t realize where they could and should have done it. You missed the important decisions about your life. Because first of all we have to know our own needs. And we must have the courage to enforce them.
When are we really challenged to make existential decisions about our lives for the first time?
That starts with choosing a career. In order to know what I want to do later, I have to recognize what talents I have. I have to be honest with myself and be able to observe myself well. According to my findings, I have to set the course, and very few can do that. They follow trends, study subjects for jobs that they won’t be able to do later. These people didn’t make a conscious decision, they swam with the crowd.
How do I recognize the dilemma?
What do I do when I realize that my identity is not my own, but one that is socially given?
Out of this adopted identity, as it is called, I urgently need to develop my individuality. I have to find out: What makes me unique in this world? I have to break out of my terraced house existence, in which my life resembles that of the neighbor down to the last detail. Many people are happy with their mainstream existence. For some, however, this plunges them very late into a deep crisis.
How do I recognize this dilemma in time?
The tools for this should already be given to young people. What distinguishes us from animals is that we can think about ourselves. As early as the age of twelve, children can be taught to observe themselves and draw the right conclusions from them. Above all, this requires courage and trust in one’s own abilities.
Some people put off decisions for days or weeks. How much time should you usually take?
That of course depends on the matter. We have two rating systems. One is the mind, the other is the gut feeling, the so-called system of somatic markers, which can also be perceived in the heart, throat or neck. It is therefore also called body signal. A good decision has been made when both systems have been synchronized. The body signal reports a decision within 200 milliseconds. But the mind works slowly. It can also take a few days. And then I still have the problem of reconciling both systems. It can take a day or two to buy a washing machine. For the choice of subject or a career change, sometimes a quarter of a year.
Are there situations in which you have to make decisions based on gut feeling because there is no time for reason?
The somatic markers are always in demand and can decide for themselves when danger is imminent. Many people develop what is known as gut thinking, knowledge based on experience. You have internalized a certain knowledge so much that you don’t have to use your intellect. A firefighter with years of experience knows what it means when the timbers in a burning house crack. He has a bulging memory of experience – in contrast to the beginner, who cannot yet trust his gut thinking. An expert in a certain field can make decisions at lightning speed, a novice needs his wits and then correspondingly longer. He first has to feed his memory of experience and, if necessary, call up experiences from other people’s brains.
The big concern of many hesitant people is making the wrong decision, they are afraid of the consequences. How do you solve this? These people have to learn that a wrong decision does not mean a catastrophe. You just have to be willing to undo them. But some people cling to their wrong decision because they can’t admit to themselves that it was a mistake. You can learn from wrong decisions and become strong. I advise people to ask themselves the catastrophe question before making difficult decisions: What is the worst that can happen? Then I evaluate whether I can live with it or whether the maximum price I pay for this risk seems too high.
