Tolfioow: How do you define courage?
dr Andreas Dick: The considered and hopeful self-giving out of love.
That sounds poetic, but also complicated. Do we really only know one form of courage?
No. We show physical courage when we risk our own lives to save another person from a burning car. And we show moral courage by doing something unpopular because we ourselves think it is important.
For example, quit your secure job to go on a trip around the world?
The employer may not like this decision, so it takes courage to implement it anyway. But this is more of an example of existential courage: a certain action endangers one’s own mental stability. This also applies when someone frees himself from an addiction. From my practical experience as a psychologist, I can think of the wife who leaves her loveless husband, although his income has so far supported her.
Why are some people so anxious while others dare almost anything? Is courage genetic?
The tendency to have a more daring or anxious temperament is innate. Scientific studies on babies have shown this.
Is courage learned?
Parents can tease out their children’s strengths by encouraging them. It’s better to say, “I know you don’t like jumping in the water, but I know you can” than present them with the danger of drowning.
Brave parents, brave children?
Yes. When parents demonstrate that it is worth jumping over their own shadow and when they themselves exude confidence, this attitude is often passed on to the children as well.
Overcoming your fears makes you feel stronger. That’s the theory. In practice, one often fails because of the same fears over and over again. Why?
Because our focus is too much on the risks, on everything that could go wrong. It is also due to the zeitgeist that security plays such a major role in all areas of life. Safety thinking prevents carelessness. Over-safety can even lead to an anxiety disorder. And at least every tenth person in Germany suffers from it. You get tunnel vision if you constantly ponder where the next danger could be lurking, which behavior might trigger which illness and which gestures in the office could lead to termination.
Is it courageous or cocky to quit a secure permanent position in your mid-40s?
That depends on the person and their attitude. Anyone who has the necessary confidence and professional qualifications will be able to make a new start after a break. Basically, everyone should realize that they deserve happiness. Those who believe in themselves and their destiny are more likely to surpass themselves. But you shouldn’t overdo it, you shouldn’t demand great deeds from yourself. The middle way is the best.
Believing in yourself will not help you decide whether you should give birth to your unborn disabled child. Is it cowardly not to face up to this responsibility and abort the child?
Such a decision has to be considered individually. Many a woman values the preservation of life more than personal resilience. But ultimately every woman has to know that for herself. It can also be bold to choose not to continue with the pregnancy even though parents and friends are opposed to having an abortion. Brave is the one who dares to make a decision that she can stand behind, even though she may have to overcome certain obstacles.
Does each person have to learn to be courageous on their own, or can one get help?
If you are extremely anxious, you should seek professional help in the form of therapy. It is often enough if you are motivated by friends or your partner and in this way seize the opportunity to find the courage within yourself. On the other hand, constellations in which a very anxious person has an extremely dominant partner are unfortunate. One feels small, the other puffs up even more. Such a relationship usually does not end well.
How much courage does it take to be authentic?
I like to quote the actress Sophia Loren: “Being completely yourself can take some courage.” What she means: Everyone is responsible for taking their needs seriously and paying attention to their feelings, most of the time betray the truth. Those who do not deny their needs and follow their own ideals and desires, as long as they do not harm others, show courage.
