It happens again and again that illness or accidents make it impossible to work. In the worst case, death threatens. A special burden for parents – also for the psyche. Families will not be able to completely avoid everyday risks. But what works very well: preparing for emergencies. But how does it actually work and what do you have to pay attention to?
Table of Contents
1. Worries make you ill – but how and why?
Many consumers, parents and families now know that stress also leaves its mark on the body at some point. A principle that also applies to constant worrying. Parents in particular are under incredible pressure. In the first year of life, the worry that the offspring will develop well. As soon as children go to daycare, education and care overlap with the job.
It happens regularly, especially in winter: the day care center calls – with a request to pick up a feverish child. The boss rolls his eyes after the third time at the latest. When you start school, other worries come along. Combined with the pressure of the job and the fear of leaving your partner and children behind in an emergency, you have a whole mountain of worries.
As with stress , constant brooding can make you ill . Background: Hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol are also released in this situation. Beneficial in nature – as they provide temporary strength and increase muscle tension – the “continuous fire” of stress hormones becomes a problem.
They negatively affect many organs. It is not without reason that it is said again and again that too much stress hits the stomach and leads to stomach ulcers. The immune system and defenses also suffer. All in all, sooner or later the stress will also have a physical impact. Feelings and thoughts cannot simply be disconnected from the rest of the body.
What illnesses are caused by all the brooding and the associated (often not consciously perceived) stress?
Among other things, parents get this through:
- sleep disorders
- weight changes
- dizzy spells
- Diabetes (Typ 2)
- high blood pressure to heart attack.
Cardiovascular disease is just the tip of the iceberg. Mental illnesses are also associated with constant worries in everyday life. Burnout and depression are just two examples. Even panic and anxiety disorders develop in affected parents. How can this vicious circle be broken?
The fact is: families will never be able to avoid all risks. Parents are neither in a position to wrap their children in cotton wool nor themselves. Rather, the focus should be on measures and options to be prepared for the worst case scenario. At this point, the range extends from insurance for financial security to powers of attorney and a transfer of custody through the will. Those who have settled all these aspects will still have worries, but at least the reassuring thought of having everything “settled” helps.
2. Why preparation really matters
Prevention has very different faces. Many families take out insurance on instinct. And when it comes to saving, too, people tend to listen to their gut feeling and intuition more than anything else. If you want to protect yourself and your family adequately, you have to turn your head.
This includes the question of why preventive care makes sense. From the answer, you can find out very quickly what exactly belongs on the agenda – and how important the individual areas are in the end. Prevention and preparation for emergencies are a process that consists of various building blocks. Depending on the individual framework conditions, areas are important or unimportant.
- Financial security: Financial security is considered extremely important. Parents need to think about two basic pillars here – household income and financial security. The latter is extremely important, especially in the event of death. Minors cannot take care of themselves. In addition, the remaining parent will have a much harder time in everyday life due to the lack of income.
- Caring: For many parents, caring for the bereaved means thinking about finances first. In itself, this point is rightly the focus. However, it must also be about how and by whom children are cared for . So parents need to think about this as well. At this point it is not enough to simply hand the children over to their grandparents. It’s about very important questions – about education and what the future of the children looks like.
Dealing with these aspects can only be the first step. Parents have to think about which areas of preventive care are important and how important they are.
The framework conditions are decisive here. As a family with their own home, the precautionary aspect is different than in connection with a rented apartment. From a financial point of view, this distinction is crucial.
3. Preparation in detail: protection and clear agreements
Families cannot avoid challenges and troubled times. But: Parents have the opportunity to prepare for such situations. Various types of insurance provide financial security. But nobody takes away many other aspects from parents.
a) It must be clear who can take over the care
if something happens to parents – one parent or both – the children must continue to be looked after. In addition to parents and siblings, these can be neighbors or friends of the family who have a bond with the children. Important: This aspect must be clarified in advance. It cannot be that the offspring is simply handed over to strangers.
Especially with regard to childcare in daycare and after-school care, parents also have to get the facility on board. Background: Children must not be handed over to strangers without further ado. Families must grant the appropriate powers of attorney – and deposit them in the facilities. Also means: Parents should talk to the desired caregiver in advance – and also put this in writing in order to have something in their hands with the youth welfare office.
b) The necessary insurance should be
taken out At this point, making financial provisions does not just mean saving. Parents cannot avoid taking out life insurance. This covers the financial risk in the event of death. This at least makes it possible to know that the surviving spouse and children are in good financial hands. Is this protection enough?
No, taking out the first life insurance policy that comes along can quickly become a mistake. What counts at this point is choosing the right tariff . The following are put to the test:
- sum insured
- Payment in case of serious illness
- Conclusion on connected lives
- Scope of the health check.
The sum insured is based on the amount of income that the life insurance is intended to replace. The rule of thumb here is between three and five times the gross income.
Attention: A term life insurance policy is taken out, as this is specially tailored to protect the surviving dependents. For this reason, a certain amount of planning and calculation is necessary in order to really select the right sum insured in the end.
Without BU insurance, the protection is patchy
Which registers can still be drawn? In principle, you also have to think about your own income if illnesses make you unable to work. Employees benefit from continued pay and sick pay. At some point, however, both aids will expire. Disability insurance provides reliable protection here and covers the missing income. And according to the GDV, the causes can be varied . The challenge: Since statistically – depending on the source – every fifth to third employee becomes unable to work, the insurers screen applicants based on their occupation and state of health.
Obtaining BI protection can be difficult for some families for this reason. Where are the insurers going at this point? Two essential aspects are health and occupation.
BI insurers use the “insured” profession to measure the risk with which a benefit can occur. Employees with classic office jobs such as:
- Lawyer
- administrative specialist
- tax consultant
have a low performance risk. Here the contracts remain favorable. The situation for facade cleaners or demolition experts is completely different. Professions in which the risk is simply “too hot” for many societies.
The issue of health is about the same objective. Applicants with a backpack of chronic diseases are more likely to be absent. Contribution surcharges, exclusions from benefits up to and including rejection – consequences that can easily be expected in such situations. How to behave when insurers react to the application for BU insurance like this?
One solution would be to take out accident insurance. This covers the risk of damage caused by accidents during leisure time – in addition to protection at work. However, this form of insurance does not take illness into account. Dread disease insurance can be used to build a safety net against serious illnesses. Alternatively, there is also the option of taking out a pure disability policy. Here the hurdles to receiving the benefit are significantly higher than in comparison to the BU policy.
Tip: Since no occupational disability protection or disability insurance can be taken out for children, alternatives should be considered. Parents can cover the accident risk with special children’s tariffs. It is important to ensure that the policy also includes accidents involving poisonous plants and insect bites.
A confidant needs to know where to find everything
Taking care of prevention and care is one side of the coin. Families must ensure that all important documents and evidence are accessible. In other words, there should always be someone who has access to a living will or power of attorney in an emergency.
Who is eligible here? First, of course, the partners mutually. Tariffs for life or BU insurance are usually concluded together. In the course of housekeeping, partners also know exactly where documents are kept. Attention: Even if the shoebox filing system may seem quite practical in everyday life – with such important aspects, order must be kept. In other words: All documents relating to insurance contracts and powers of attorney are kept neatly sorted.
What if both parents die in an accident? This situation is a particular burden and challenge for everyone. In general, it is advisable to inform third parties about the documents. In many cases, these will be people from the immediate family circle – such as parents or siblings. Very close friends are also eligible. However, a corresponding basis of trust must be present here.
Each of the examples mentioned is aimed at the private setting. There is a third solution: notaries. Families have the opportunity to have important documents deposited. The whole thing has decisive advantages. Important legal deadlines are met much better this way.
c) The children must get a message from their parents
If something happens to the parents, it is a shock. Especially when strangers inform you about here. From the parents’ point of view, it is important to initiate a trusted person into this task. How children receive a message from their parents can vary greatly.
Of course, the age of the children has an influence here. Two-year-olds will not be able to do much with a letter. Even a self-made video as a reminder is difficult here. The bigger the offspring, the sooner such messages will reach their goal.
d) There needs to be clarity about the course of action parents want
Insurance contracts and powers of attorney are quite sober aspects that belong on the agenda. If a parent dies, sole custody of their children passes to the surviving parent. At this point , § 1626 BGB , which justifies parental custody, is decisive. Although the paragraph speaks of the parents, there is not much leeway left when a parent dies.
In this constellation, dealing with custody is clear. If both parents die, the situation becomes more complex. Do grandparents or siblings then suddenly make decisions for underage children? This view still prevails, but it is wrong. The family court decides how to deal with custody.
But: Parents have influence over what happens to custody – via:
- Testament
- contract of inheritance.
This can determine which person should take care of children in the future. Are there any pitfalls here? The will should be justified in the will. It must be clear to the caregiver that they can take care of children at all. It’s not just about caring for people.
It takes a certain mental maturity to accompany children on their way to adulthood. If the family court or youth welfare office comes to the conclusion that the specific person is not in the best interests of the child, the last will and will of the parents can also be ignored. In any case, the child’s well-being always comes first, which outweighs the wishes of the parents.
4. Initiate or leave out? A question of childhood
Dealing with illness and death is difficult for adults. This topic becomes even more abstract for children. Especially in the age group up to 6 years there is no understanding for death. Older people in particular come into the focus of children and then disappear again. To expect from this age group that conversations about the death of their parents are objective and with a certain “distance” is simply too much to ask.
But: There is a point in the life of children and adolescents when an understanding of the connection between life and death develops . This is where an awareness of one’s own finiteness arises – and that of those close to us. Of course, parents shouldn’t throw the “door into the house”.
This awareness develops around the age of 6. By the age of 9 to 10, understanding is already as advanced as that of an adult. At this age, the topic can already be dealt with more openly. In this age group, parents can also talk about their ideas and wishes. But: Of course, a child cannot exert any influence after the death of their parents. Minors are not legally competent in Germany.
With puberty it is possible to involve children more actively – for example by explaining which documents are kept where. The issue must not lie completely on their shoulders, the responsibility is simply too great. Children can only really play an active role when they are 18 years old.
Conclusion: If you take precautions, then please do it properly
Parents go through an exciting time with the birth of their children. Worries mix with joy. Are the offspring healthy? How do we behave as parents when accidents happen? In addition to the attention that is given to the child, other worries mix with everyday life. Illnesses or accidents of the parents throw the entire everyday life upside down. Children and bereaved parents can be protected – with the right methods. Term life and BI insurance are just two aspects. But parents also need to ask themselves what happens to custody. It is important to address these areas in preventive care. But the whole thing must never go so far that everyday life with the child is completely forgotten.
