Christiane Hörbiger has it. Hillary Clinton too. Beth Ditto exudes it, as does Monica Bellucci: that certain something. The selection of these women shows that attractiveness has nothing to do with wrinkle-free skin or a wasp waist. “Above all, the combination of joie de vivre, strength and calm gives this aura,” says the psychologist and author Dr. Claudia Grossmann. Anyone who now briefly checks personalities according to these criteria in their heads will agree with the expert. Test with Simone Thomalla: zest for life: yes, strength: yes, calmness: yes. Counter check with Anke Engelke: joie de vivre: yes, strength: yes, calm: no. “This shows very clearly that it is not enough to entertain people. You also have to be a motivator that others would follow – at least in theory,” explains the psychologist.
Table of Contents
SOVEREIGNTY INSTEAD OF DRAMA
This is also supported by the American social psychologist Professor Ronald Riggio, who has researched the topic intensively. He found that charismatics can express their feelings in ways that not only engage and excite their listeners, but actually motivate them to act. And not through pathetic or dramatic gestures, but through synchronicity, discovered colleague and personality researcher Professor Frank Bernieri. These people subconsciously activate a so-called mimicry in us, i.e. an adaptation: If the speaker leans forward, we also lean in this direction, if he smiles, we smile too – in the best case, according to Bernieri, even the breathing rhythm of the two people synchronizes.
No shine without friction
NO SHINE WITHOUT FRICTION
Despite this, the enviable magnetism does not guarantee 100 percent popularity. According to grandson, at least 20 percent always reject the radiant people: “They polarize strongly and trigger the decision in us in a flash whether we like them or not.” If the latter is the case, they accept this fact, see it sporty or philosophically Confucius, who stated: “The pearl cannot shine without friction.” Because that too is a premise for authenticity: to have the courage to fail and then to keep going.
THE SMALL DIFFERENCE
dr Grossmann knows another requirement for a successful public image: “It is crucial that the person fulfills the hopes that he aroused. Without a goal and direction, even the greatest charisma fizzles out.” This is where real charisma differs from glamor or even narcissism. “People with that certain something can subordinate ideas and ideals and also have the well-being of others in mind, narcissists only see themselves and their advantage,” explains the psychologist.
Cordula O’Brien
CORDULA O’BRIEN, 42, designer from Hamburg
“I believe in myself and my idea, others feel that too”
Do what everyone else does, be mainstream or look like everyone else – I don’t want that. I am an original and there is no other like me in the world. I show that too. There is something special about me every day: sometimes it’s a big flower in my hair, sometimes brightly colored fingernails. I like to be a splash of color in the gray everyday life. That’s why I do my thing professionally. I only design boys’ fashion and print my ‘monster-in-your-bed’ collections by hand – although there are all rational reasons against it: too time-consuming and therefore not profitable, many people warned me. Basically, I don’t care what other people say, because I feel that this work is my calling. This belief can quickly become intimidating. I’m not the elbow type at all, I just live with my ideasskin and hair. Then I go my way and develop a mighty pace. That’s why self-employment is absolutely right for me. So I can do exactly what I want.” Styling expert Astrid Rudolph supports this attitude: “For Ms. O’Brien, fashion isn’t just about styling, it’s also a means of communication. Because of her style of clothing, she is certainly often addressed. Role models for them are women like Björk and Beth Ditto, who don’t care about a harmonious overall picture. On the contrary: They work with visual distractions such as a daring color combination or an oversized bow. That requires courage and the willingness to deal with the environment, but it also brings a lot of new impressions and impulses.”
Sabine Beer
SABINE BEER, 56, Founder and Managing Director of Santaverde
“The knowledge that I can make the world a little bit better gives me strength”
As an entrepreneur, I am passionate but not missionary. Although my everyday life revolves around nature and sustainability, I don’t live in asceticism. I like to put on makeup and eat a piece of meat when I feel like it. But I pay attention to organic quality. Dye gray hair? Sure, if I didn’t like them. But I think she’s beautiful and I get lots of compliments on her. When shopping, I make sure that my clothes are made fairly and support companies like FTC Fair Trade Cashmere and Kuyichi Jeans. It’s not always easy to live for a vision, I’ve often felt that. When I founded my natural cosmetics company 25 years ago, I was an exotic woman, smiled at and asked ironically whether I wanted to become a farmer now. At that time, only the economy was in the foreground, Ecology was only for do-gooders. Thankfully, that attitude has changed. I’m very happy about that, because I’m passionate about the idea of a fairer world, just as I was in the beginning.” Business coach Dr. Barbara Schneider explains Sabine Beer’s success as follows: “People with visions have a magnetic effect because they make a difference and give their lives a framework and meaning – professionally and privately. This is often preceded by a thorough examination of one’s own personality: What am I good at? What do I like to do? What should my success look like and what price am I willing to pay for it? These are not easy questions, but those who have found the answers appear clear and reliable and can also give others orientation.” because I’m passionate about the idea of a fairer world, just as I was in the beginning.” Business coach Dr. Barbara Schneider explains Sabine Beer’s success as follows: “People with visions have a magnetic effect because they make a difference and give their lives a framework and meaning – professionally and privately. This is often preceded by a thorough examination of one’s own personality: What am I good at? What do I like to do? What should my success look like and what price am I willing to pay for it? These are not easy questions, but those who have found the answers appear clear and reliable and can also give others orientation.” because I’m passionate about the idea of a fairer world, just as I was in the beginning.” Business coach Dr. Barbara Schneider explains Sabine Beer’s success as follows: “People with visions have a magnetic effect because they make a difference and give their lives a framework and meaning – professionally and privately. This is often preceded by a thorough examination of one’s own personality: What am I good at? What do I like to do? What should my success look like and what price am I willing to pay for it? These are not easy questions, but those who have found the answers appear clear and reliable and can also give others orientation.” because they make a difference and give their lives a framework and meaning – professionally and privately. This is often preceded by a thorough examination of one’s own personality: What am I good at? What do I like to do? What should my success look like and what price am I willing to pay for it? These are not easy questions, but those who have found the answers appear clear and reliable and can also give others orientation.” because they make a difference and give their lives a framework and meaning – professionally and privately. This is often preceded by a thorough examination of one’s own personality: What am I good at? What do I like to do? What should my success look like and what price am I willing to pay for it? These are not easy questions, but those who have found the answers appear clear and reliable and can also give others orientation.”
Elisa Carrillo Cabrera
ELISA CARRILLO CABRERA, 30, principal dancer at the Staatsballett Berlin
“I allow myself to just be Elisa”
Dancing is more than my job, it’s my passion. ‘Why are you always laughing?’ people often ask me. Quite simply because I’m happy. When I was still living in Mexico, I watched European films. I admired the beautiful women with the long blond hair and thought that I would not be accepted as a ballerina with a dark complexion and my Indian looks. But years later, when I was already dancing on German stages, I was surprised to find that it is even positive to be different from others. That I should thank God for my body. Today I feel comfortable in my own skin and I’m proud of my roots.” Tiziana Bruno, body language trainer, says: “You can tell that Elisa is a dancer by the way she looks in her body. It doesn’t seem a bit cramped or artificially staged. She shows her self-confidence through her upright and conscious posture, her proud, direct gaze. Her whole appearance radiates strength and grace at the same time. Basically, if you take up space with gestures and movements, you have an engaging effect in the truest sense of the word. Just like Elisha. She has a clear awareness of who she is and how she wants to appear. Enjoys herself, lives in harmony with her body and personality. For her as a very special type, it is absolutely right that she emphasizes her specialness and does not hide it. Because if you think you’re good, others will like you too. That is the secret of women with special charisma.” Her whole appearance radiates strength and grace at the same time. Basically, if you take up space with gestures and movements, you have an engaging effect in the truest sense of the word. Just like Elisha. She has a clear awareness of who she is and how she wants to appear. Enjoys herself, lives in harmony with her body and personality. For her as a very special type, it is absolutely right that she emphasizes her specialness and does not hide it. Because if you think you’re good, others will like you too. That is the secret of women with special charisma.” Her whole appearance radiates strength and grace at the same time. Basically, if you take up space with gestures and movements, you have an engaging effect in the truest sense of the word. Just like Elisha. She has a clear awareness of who she is and how she wants to appear. Enjoys herself, lives in harmony with her body and personality. For her as a very special type, it is absolutely right that she emphasizes her specialness and does not hide it. Because if you think you’re good, others will like you too. That is the secret of women with special charisma.” lives in harmony with her body and her personality. For her as a very special type, it is absolutely right that she emphasizes her specialness and does not hide it. Because if you think you’re good, others will like you too. That is the secret of women with special charisma.” lives in harmony with her body and her personality. For her as a very special type, it is absolutely right that she emphasizes her specialness and does not hide it. Because if you think you’re good, others will like you too. That is the secret of women with special charisma.”
Ingrid Martin-Zick
INGRID MARTIN-ZICK, 40, Managing Director of the MOS model agency
“My radiance makes me successful, not my body size”
If I had a perfect body, I would have become a model among many. I would be nice but interchangeable. From the very beginning of my career I was chubby than most other girls. Nevertheless, I was booked for shootings. Because even in the model business, it’s not just about body measurements. But on what a woman radiates. ‘One can tell that you love your body’, I’ve often heard. When I stand in front of the mirror today, at the age of 40, I see a beautiful woman. But one with belly and thighs. Despite my feminine curves, I have no inhibitions. why? I am what I am. Even if I’m a few pounds overweight, I don’t pull in my stomach during sex, nor do I drape myself in the pillows like an artificial character in order to present myself in the best light in front of my husband. is erotic who is at peace with themselves. And: I wouldn’t have a plus-size model agency today if I were willowy. I want to encourage other models to see themselves as individuals instead of squinting at those with longer legs and smaller waists. At the end of the day, it’s not what’s on the measuring tape that counts, but the sparkle in your eyes.” Stylist and image consultant Astrid Rudolph agrees: “Ingrid Martin-Zick is an alpha animal, she stands upright and self-confident, and looks directly at her counterpart and radiates beauty and joie de vivre. You immediately think: Wow, this woman with beautiful skin is happy with herself! She knows she has feminine curves and she likes it. It thus fulfills the most important prerequisite for radiance: only those who love themselves can love others and appears lovable. Envy, on the other hand, makes you ugly and grey. It is very true that she does not hide her curves under a black dress. She doesn’t hold back in color because she can live well with attention. You will still remember her as a person because she doesn’t choose shrill tones for her clothes, but colors that suit her. In general, you should use colors and cuts in such a way that you draw attention to yourself and show who you are without being shy.” that suit her. In general, you should use colors and cuts in such a way that you draw attention to yourself and show who you are without being shy.” that suit her. In general, you should use colors and cuts in such a way that you draw attention to yourself and show who you are without being shy.”
