My children have two grandmothers and three grandfathers. That sounds like a lot, but that puts them below average compared to their kindergarten and toddler group peers. The frontrunners among the diaper wearers come straight to the double.
Because what is easy to forget when discussing new family forms: it was not the current generation of young parents who invented the patchwork trend. Even their sexually liberated mothers and fathers were happy to spread their love over several life stages. So if significantly more than four moved seniors jostle at the baptismal font, follow a beginner runner at a gallop or applaud the scene at the children’s theatre, this is not a biological miracle, but the social normal case: Then the biological grandparents have teamed up with new partners. In addition, the more life expectancy increases, the less likely it is for small children that they will have to visit grandpa in the cemetery. This increases the chances that they will be allowed to scatter flowers at Grandma’s third dream wedding.
When there are fewer and fewer offspring and the number of grandmothers and grandfathers willing to spoil themselves increases exponentially, a whole new level of buyer power arises. Married or partnered oldies are usually particularly anxious to equip the grandchildren, who surprisingly still arrived, with ballet slippers and Barbie mobile homes. Or dinging around fun pools on Sundays. Which of our three grandfathers do you think would like to get my son (five months) a season ticket for the HSV stadium right now? Exactly: It’s not the biological one.
And another patchwork phenomenon is becoming more and more widespread: sometimes grandpa’s new baby is at least as young as the child’s mother, if not younger. This type of youthful bonus granny is usually less generous when it comes to “Bobby Cars” or game consoles. But in return she might give life to a playmate for her step-grandchild. If siblings and cousins are becoming increasingly rare, the urban only child can at least crawl in competition with his half-uncle, who is three months younger.
As nice as all this is for the offspring, the patchwork clan can be problematic for mothers and fathers. Not only for reasons of time and space (where to go with all the grandmas and grandpas at the children’s birthday party?), but also in diplomatic terms. After all, in the unspoken “Germany is looking for the Super-Granny” competition, every patchwork couple wants to emerge victorious. Mama better not mention that the daughter would rather play with Grandma and Hans-Jürgen in the allotment than go to the children’s opera with Grandpa and Chantal.
Maybe we should think about new ways of living together. In their own patchwork settlements, which are loosely grouped around a central children’s villa. That would be a future-oriented project. Because in 30 years the little ones will not only have 8 grandmas and grandpas. But up to 32 great-grandparents. Do the math!
