Table of Contents
love needs laughter
Humor tops the list of characteristics of attractive people worldwide. However, the type of humor matters: Conducive to love is contact-oriented humor designed to amuse others. Also great: the self-esteem-boosting humor that keeps us laughing , even under stress and adverse circumstances . “Harmful to love are aggressive and self-deprecating humor,” says Prof. Shahe Kazarian of the University of Beirut, Lebanon.
Three pillars – otherwise it will tip over
Intimacy, passion and commitment. Love, explains psychologist Robert J. Sternberg of Oklahoma State University in the US, rests on three legs: intimacy (we are connected), passion (we attract each other like magnets), and commitment (we stay together, come what may). ). If one of the legs is missing, it’s not love. But the legs can be of different thicknesses – this is how different types of love arise. The more we and our partner feel each of the legs, the happier we are.
Animals can love too
“Love is not limited to humans,” says American psychologist and zoologist Charles T. Snowdon. “If we know what to look for and how, we can find them in many other animals.” They too spend most of their time with their mates, grooming one another, sharing food, and are very distressed when separated from their mate.
They share child care (mothers breastfeed, fathers carry the offspring) and have sex even if the female is not fertile or is already pregnant. An “animal marriage” can last for years – even between animals and humans: in 2007, shortly before his death, the gray parrot Alex said to his owner, the US animal psychologist Irene Pepperberg: “I love you.”
We emulate role models
From birth we experience different love stories: our own parents, friends’ parents, couples in books, on TV, in movies and in our own lives. We sort these romances into a hit list. As a result, we tend to be happier in partnerships that develop like love stories that we have already (jointly) experienced and placed at the top of our personal top ten. On the other hand, if the plot of an ongoing relationship is not very high in the ranking, it is threatened as soon as one of the partners meets someone who promises a better story.
The we of love helps the ego to grow
We want to feel independent and at the same time belong. These two basic mental needs only contradict each other at first glance. “In the best relationships, partners offer love while supporting each other’s independence,” explains Dr. Madoka Kumashiro from Goldsmiths College, University of London. “In a strong loving relationship, the partners help each other grow into who they want to be.”
book tip
“Love”, edited by Leo Bormans, Dumont, 352 pages, 25 euros
“Mr. Right” by Katharina Ohana, Gütersloher Verlagshaus, 192 pages, 17.99 euros
“And then the right one came along” by Jeannette Villachica, Herder, 220 pages, 16.99 euros
Hair looks lovely
Women find the same man more attractive when he has a full head of hair. The worst performers are guys with thin hair . Women, on the other hand, associate baldness with dominance and strength. Beard growth also plays a role: Men with three or five-day stubble also come first in terms of attractiveness. However, when asked about a sense of family and loving father qualities, those with a full beard perform best.
love is green
More than 70 percent of all Germans find nature fans more attractive. This is confirmed by an Ipsos survey commissioned by Florena. Five percent more believe that falling in love would only be half as nice without trips into nature. It’s no wonder that 60 out of 100 respondents would prefer a date outdoors to a classic visit to a restaurant or the cinema. 73 percent agreed with the statement “A common hobby in nature strengthens the partnership”. 70 out of 100 couples find it helpful to go to the countryside together to settle arguments
