It’s just a movie. Let’s try to convince ourselves when our hearts are beating in our throats because the Jewish pianist is hiding from Nazi henchmen under a pile of rubbish. Or we suddenly have tears in our eyes because a sad man in a cowboy hat clumsily hugs a plaid man’s shirt.
Whether you want to distance yourself from such scenes from “The Pianist” and “Brokeback Mountain” or just let yourself fall into the strange emotional world is a matter of type. But visits to the cinema leave no one unaffected. Because anyone who sees a film in a dark cinema hall is at the mercy of the feelings of the screen heroes and cannot escape an emotional touch.
Dirk Blothner, Professor of Media Psychology at the University of Cologne, explains how this works: “Only when we watch a film can we experience life in an extremely concentrated way.” When we watch it, we feel as if we were there ourselves, falling in love along with June Carter into young Johnny Cash, drive along the endless highway to freedom with Thelma and Louise. Representing us, Kevin Spacey in “American Beauty” suffers through the whole drama of a cold, habitual relationship – all in just under 90 minutes.
And that is immensely satisfying, because in everyday life, a relationship breakup often lasts an agonizingly long time. Precisely because we experience love, loss and reconciliation in fast motion on the screen, we emerge strengthened and relaxed from the evening at the cinema. We have the feeling that we have found an answer for our own love and life questions. At least for now.
Table of Contents
It’s about the feeling
CINEMA CAN TEACH US MORE ABOUT SOCIAL SKILLS THAN SOME COACHES
However, feature films are not sober educational films. It’s always about the feeling. When we get excited about Keira Knightley boldly turning down a pushy matchmaker in Pride and Prejudice, we store the courage that springs in us as we watch someone do something brave. Even if only a faint trace of it remains in our emotional memory three weeks after a night at the cinema – we can reactivate these feelings in everyday life if someone hassled or bothered us. “The emotional reminder of the brave behavior of others can motivate us to do something brave ourselves,” explains the American media psychologist Ryan Niemiec. Films that trigger a solemn grandeur in us have a particularly strong influence on our soul. This feeling sometimes grips viewers so strongly that it even shows up physically. Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt of the University of Virginia has found that after watching some movies, viewers feel more open in their chests, walk taller, and have more energy when they leave the theater.
The scientists Ryan Niemiec and Danny Wedding have now put together a kind of treasure chest with such strengthening films in their book (“Positive Psychology at the Movies”, Hogrefe Verlag, 308 pages, 34.95 euros). The two psychologists, who belong to the school of modern positive psychology , are primarily concerned with strengthening people in virtues such as courage, gratitude or wisdom. These are the traits that, according to recent research, make us happier than comparative assertiveness at any cost or anger—however justified it may be.
At first glance, Robin Hood, the three musketeers or the companions from “Lord of the Rings” seem heroic enough to teach us noble qualities such as courage and wisdom. But the energy we get from such fairytale heroes quickly dissipates. Films that are more everyday influence us more lastingly – and still leave us with uplifting feelings. such as B. the surprise hit “Juno” from last year.
A 17-year-old becomes pregnant unintentionally, wants to have the child and put it up for adoption – if she can find a good home for her baby. This story could have been told as a sentimental tragedy. Thanks to the title heroine Juno, who tests the future adoptive parents with wit, directness and an incorruptible instinct for people, the film is not only cool and contemporary, it also has a good ending. The scientists Wedding and Niemiec attest Juno an excellent social intelligence, which one is infected by just watching.
everyday heroes
“COME TO YOURSELF IN THE DARK CINEMA” SOUNDS A LITTLE LIKE PIZZA DIET. BUT HELPS!
But we don’t just benefit from films in which everyday heroes develop in an exemplary manner and are rewarded with a happy ending. Even dark films like the euthanasia film “The Sea Inside” can strengthen us. When you watch it more in the sense of a “flirt” with the disaster. But if we then follow, for example, Monica Bleibtreu in “Maria’s Last Journey”, how she fulfills her last wishes as a woman suffering from cancer, or observe Elmar Wepper, how he processes the death of his wife in “Cherry Blossoms Hanami”, we will already get through Watching a little more relaxed and fearless.
“Films allow us to try things out, to anticipate difficult situations,” explains Professor Blothner. And when we’re dealing with the topic of aggression, even a shocker like Stanley Kubrick’s “Clockwork Orange” can have a positive influence on us, after all it shows us the sensuality of violence as well as its senselessness. Even banal popcorn cinema is worse: shallow love films like “PS: I love you” or action and horror films like “Saw” have a similar effect on us as tacos with cheese sauce – after enjoying it we are stuffed, but an hour later we have it we’re hungry again.
Nevertheless, the cinema chair cannot replace the therapy couch. The Korean psychologist Kim Susie examined 92 patients, some of whom were treated with psychotherapy and some only with films. Both groups felt significantly better after two months – but only with the help of a therapist were they able to change their behavior in the long term. Even if individual films move or inspire us very strongly: a film is always just a drop that falls into the ocean of emotions.
But it is a well-known fact that even small impulses trigger big reactions. For example, anyone who sees a young man falling in love with an older woman in a film like “Robert Zimmermann wonders about love” will not immediately smile at a younger man. But if you watch several films with similar themes, over time a certain self-evidence sets in: If it works in films, why not in real life too? Maybe then you flirt with a young man and see that it fits. This is how taboos are broken. This is how ideas change. So more happens than “It’s just a movie…”.
Cinematic Medicine Chest
heroes like us
Media psychologists Ryan Niemiec and Danny Wedding have put together a cinematic medicine chest for the soul that we can use to train different strengths. Important: Observe the instructions for use!
1 Openness/change in attitude
There are almost as many ways of life as there are people. And no matter how open we would like to be, we keep coming across people who scare us with their difference.
“Before Sunset/Before Sunrise” – Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke meet in Paris in both films. They only have one day each to get closer to each other.
“LA Crash” – Different life stories are woven together as the characters get involved in accidental car accidents. Describes everyday racism – and how to overcome it.
Eyes Wide Shut – Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise as a couple on screen show that the desire for sexual adventure is deeply rooted in many people.
How to use: Watch what you resist watching. Ask yourself: Why does this way of living upset me? Is that frighteningly foreign or frighteningly close to me?
2 courage and integrity
It’s no use being brave all the time. It is more important to be courageous when a grievance deeply violates one’s own integrity.
“Erin Brockovich” – A woman uncovers an environmental scandal and fights until she holds the corporation to account.
“The Lives of Others” – A Stasi informer falls in love with the woman he’s wiretapping and secretly saves her and her husband from prison.
“The Kite Runner” – An Afghan man returns to war-torn Kabul in search of his best friend’s son.
Instructions for use: The scientist Michael Maniacci has stated: Some heroes fit us like a well-fitting suit. Others not at all. Watch the three films and think: What kind of courage suits me? Do I want to act in the background or confront others? Try out the role that fits best for a while in everyday life.
Liveliness, beauty, steadfastness
3Tolfioowity/will to live
This is about our elementary life energy, which is often referred to as “Eros” in the West and “Chi” in the East. According to various studies, the amount of life energy is the motor for long-term positive personal development.
“Buena Vista Social Club” – Cuban musicians of advanced age, who are just bursting with liveliness.
“Life is beautiful” – Roberto Benigni uses wit and imagination to keep his son away from the horrors and cruelties of a concentration camp.
“Harold and Maude” – The old lady Maude has much more will to live than the young Harold and infects him with her passion and liveliness.
Instructions for use: Make a note of where you are involuntarily carried away. Where do you laugh even though it’s sad? Where do you tap your foot to the beat? Try to keep that alive feeling even after the movie. For example, by pursuing one of your favorite activities with this energy.
4 beauty
The feeling of “worshipping life” that comes from particularly good or poetic films is a kind of catalyst for activity, joie de vivre and also for motivation.
“The Story of the Weeping Camel” – Tells about a newborn camel and its mother and shows the beauty of nature and life.
“Der Himmel über Berlin” – Wim Wenders’ film about an angel who wants to lose his immortality in order to be able to live and love as a human being.
“As in Heaven” – A terminally ill successful musician practices with a rather weird village choir in such a way that the music finally sounds perfect.
Instructions for use: Everything in life is actually going great, but it’s still not fun? Then watch these films – and practice the poetic, sensual and accurate view of life.
5 steadfastness
If you want to be successful, you need one thing above all: persistence. In addition, US psychologist Martin Selig shows that endurance can be trained.
“The Pianist” – A star Jewish pianist who is deported by the Nazis does everything to save himself and his talent.
“Mary Full of Grace” – A Colombian drug courier starts a new life in the USA after tragic experiences.
“Million Dollar Baby” – Ambitious boxer Maggie wins the championship and achieves her goal in life. (Though she dies in the end!)
Instructions for use: Count how many obstacles the heroes have to overcome – and still never give up. Look for the hurdle that would make you surrender yourself. Ask yourself: under what circumstances, for what purpose would you manage to overcome this “dead spot”?
love, forgiveness
6 love
No subject is dealt with in films as often as love. And that’s good. When we understand the nature of love, we can act more lovingly ourselves.
‘Casablanca’ – Despite being the love of his life, Humphrey Bogart ends up letting Ingrid Bergman go with her husband, whom he rescued.
“Against the Wall” – They seem like two lost souls, yet Cahit and Sibel love each other. The fact that Sibel ultimately decides against Cahit in Istanbul is due to an even greater love: that of her unborn child.
“By her side” – A woman suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. Even when she no longer recognizes her husband, he stays with her.
Instructions for use: Beyond all sentimentality: what is love? And what sacrifices would you make for love? Under which circumstances? Which tokens of love fit into your relationship?
7 forgiveness, modesty
People fare better when they can choose whether to show feelings of anger, revenge, or approval—or forgiveness and humility.
“The Straight Story” – An old man rides a lawnmower across several states in the US to reconcile with his dying brother.
‘Volver’ – Penelope Cruz forgives her mother for leading her daughters to believe she died.
“The Queen” – Helen Mirren plays Queen Elizabeth II and impressively shows that even a ruler can grow through humility.
Instructions for use: What makes you angry and nervous? Whom could you not forgive? Who could you learn from?
