We can still feel this feeling with goosebumps: the first time on the ten-meter board. Of course, as children we had no idea that this first feeling towards the edge, the anxious, hesitant looking down into the depths and the leap into the abyss were far more than a one-time risk. This moment is something like a faithful companion in our lives, which has many faces but remains the same in its essence: courageous.
Whenever we dare something, make important decisions, dare to stand up for something, or open ourselves up to something new, we need courage. Because we need to step off the beaten track, take risks, and push boundaries—our own and sometimes others’. Courage is a driving force in our life journey. An inner resource that makes us strong and helps us seek and find happiness. Just as naturally as it accompanies us, but our courage often leaves us just as quickly. Then we feel anxious and insecure. Or, because we don’t want those feelings, we put the conflict aside and sit back in comfort instead of acting. But there is a way (back) into the “mute zone”. Psychologist Bea Engelmann says that we can learn courage. she found out
Being brave means being authentic
“For people of all ages, courage means one thing above all: being able to stand up for yourself,” says Engelmann. This was one of the most surprising results of their study. “For most people, being brave does not necessarily mean being heroic, but rather being authentic and genuine. Not a puppet, but a director in your own life. It’s about a state in which we openly show our strengths and enjoy the freedom to learn from mistakes.”
So this zone is the target. To do this, we must first find out in which zone we are currently staying. In the first, the “fear zone”, where worries and doubts dominate us? Then it’s time to take a closer look at our fears. Bea Engelmann: “They don’t mean us any harm, they’re supposed to warn and protect us. But we have to make sure that we control them and not them us by asking ourselves: What is my fear trying to tell me, what need is behind it?”
What wishes and projects do I still want to realize in life?
Or are we in the second, the “comfort zone”? From here, most start in the direction of Mutzone. The central question is then: “Have we made ourselves comfortable, maybe a bit too comfortable in our lives?” not lead too far away – from dreams, projects or things that we would like to do or change.” An indication of this is the frequently said sentence beginning “Actually, I always wanted to, but …” Actually.
But. “This big but keeps us from starting a new hobby, from finally having a salary interview or from telling our partner what we no longer like.” From her experience as a coach, the expert knows: Those who live in the comfort zone tend to sweeping not only your dreams under the carpet, but also your own opinion and interests. “In addition, there are unspoken conflicts and disappointments.”
Time for dreams is important. They are messengers of our longings
Lifting the symbolic carpet regularly and looking: What would I like to do (differently) from the bottom of my heart? What have I planned for a long time, but I don’t dare – it takes courage. “This confrontation with oneself is already very courageous,” says Engelmann, “and a question of practice. Establish a fixed day of the week when you take the time to peek under your rug,” she recommends. Then comes the step into the dream zone: “My favorite zone,” says Engelmann, “and the key to success on the way to the courage zone. Make time for dreams. They are the messengers of our longings and form the foundation for new life plans.” This means: We should always consciously allow ourselves to dream because it trains us to perceive our desires and goals,
Anyone who allows visions and ideas, no matter how crazy they may seem, becomes more courageous. “Because in the dream we already feel the effect that a bold step would have. This helps to implement an idea step by step. Only when we mentally imagine the conditions under which we could do sports more often or have more time to ourselves do we gradually turn our wishes into reality. An ‘I had to, because…’ then has no chance, only an ‘I decide for… because it’s important to me’.” But how do ideas from the dream zone make it into reality? “For that we need the self-confidence zone, in which we can recharge our batteries,” answers Engelmann. “Solid self-confidence acts as a courage booster, and that can be trained.” like this: “Close your eyes for a moment and think about your strengths, appreciate them and find a color that goes with them. Go to a stationery store and buy glue dots in your color. This way you always have an eye on yourself and your strengths: the colored spot on the bathroom mirror, on the door of your closet or on the dashboard will remind you of this.”
Now we’re back up there, on our personal 10-meter board
That catapults us into the growth zone – and thus onto the home stretch. “We slip into the role of project manager. Use cards to jot down your thoughts and the steps you need to take to make your dream come true,” advises the expert. “Then you always have an overview and don’t have to start all over again.” With the business plan of our dream in hand, we head to the jump zone. “When we leave familiar paths and start to grow, risks and side effects cannot be ruled out,” says the courage expert. Since we don’t want to get cocky and don’t want to offend others, we take another deep breath during this phase and sharpen our view of the consequences of our behavior. “Courage doesn’t mean achieving your goals at the expense of others.
Instead, we want to act with foresight.” And how do we do that? “The answer is simple: with questions and discussions! Ask people you care about for feedback, for encouragement,” says the psychologist. “Whoever communicates honestly with others will get sincerity and honest encouragement in return.” Then we’re back on top, on our personal ten-meter board. With every step we took from zone to zone, we climbed the ladder to the top. We look down – and take the plunge. Because there is no threatening emptiness, but space for truthfulness and joie de vivre. For new ways and possibilities.
