You probably know that unpleasant feeling of not having sold yourself well. Whether it’s an upcoming promotion (long overdue!), choosing a holiday destination (Ireland over Spain, honey!) or the urgent need to repaint the living room (purple!) – if you want something, you have to get into the coordinate with others in most cases.
Of course, you could just do your thing. But you certainly won’t make friends by going it alone. It’s better to try it the elegant way: Convince your fellow human beings with coherent arguments and an irresistible tactic. Don’t you dare? “Even people who consider themselves to be losers in persuasion can learn to become ace – by consciously using strategies whose effectiveness has been scientifically proven,” says the renowned US psychologist Noah J. Goldstein in his book “Yes!” . The key word in Goldstein’s statement: “conscious”. Think not only about what you want to achieve, but also how you can best achieve it. Here we show you how this works. Convince yourself!
Scientifically proven effectiveness: eight persuasion strategies that will get you to your goal faster
1 Feelings make you unable to negotiate
The more neutral our emotional state, the more skilfully we can negotiate. A striking example from psychological research: After seeing a sad film, potential buyers were willing to pay 30 percent more for a product. Sad sellers, on the other hand, let themselves be bargained down by 33 percent of the purchase price. Irrational? Yes, but understandable. So be careful not to get caught in negative sentiment traps before negotiating. Avoid mulling problems before a persuasion interview.
2 Step-by-step to the goal
If you have major changes in mind, lead those involved towards your goal step by step. Get them to have faith in your plan. This reduces the fear of change. Example wall color: Suggest to your skeptical partner to test the stunning purple on one wall only. He’ll get used to it. Social researchers call this the “foot-in-the-door” tactic.
3 Give compliments
A great strategy for professional life is the “tagging technique”. To do this, put a stamp on the people you want to convince in advance in the form of a compliment that supports your argument. For example, in another context, the day before the salary interview, you can tell your boss that you think he is a very generous person. This significantly increases the likelihood that you will get your financial claim through the next day.
4 Shine with small weaknesses – and score points
A flawless facade looks incredible. Studies show that it is perceived as much more sympathetic when we name weaknesses ourselves. Example of a job interview: “I may not have the degree you want, but consider that I have over 15 years of professional experience.” Incidentally, in relevant studies, the test subjects rate the strengths of others even higher when their weaknesses are also mentioned.
5 Those who are criticized need options for action It
has been scientifically proven that fear paralyzes the ability to act. For example, if you explain to smokers that their addiction can be deadly, they will deny the fear-inducing message. The willingness to quit only increases if the message is linked to specific tips for giving up the habit. That means: Confront others with uncomfortable wishes, but show them ways out. Instead of saying to your partner, “I can’t take it anymore that you…” say, “Could you imagine in the future…”
Reading tip: “Yes! Convince others – 50 scientifically proven secret recipes” by Noah J. Goldstein et al., Huber Bern, 211 pages, 19.95 euros
6 Comparisons inspire
People are herd animals – we don’t like to admit this to ourselves, but we can take advantage of this with others: comparisons often work wonders when it comes to persuasion. For example, you can inform potential customers casually: “Most of the time, my project partners book the big package right away.” And the mother-in-law may be persuaded towards the goal with a cleverly interspersed “My mother did me this great favor at the time”.
7 Gentle pressure instead of harsh words
“Consistency is the refuge of the unimaginative”, Oscar Wilde already knew. That means: Don’t fall into the house with the door – especially not if you are facing a nut that is difficult to crack. Argue carefully, say, for example, that the current situation “fits perfectly with the information available at the time”. This is how you skilfully lead to your goal – that something should ideally change immediately. This strategy is particularly useful for job interviews with bosses and difficult clients.
8 Less choice increases the chances
Formulate as few but concrete alternatives as possible if you want to see one of them put into practice. Example holiday destination: Are you fed up with Mallorca? Make a counter-proposal or two to your family , backed up with interesting facts, rather than googling it together at random. The “jam study” provides the proof: the larger the selection, the fewer supermarket customers buy it. Apparently, people tend to postpone or avoid decisions when there are too many options.
