Apple, banana, orange, pineapple. Not correct! It has to be pineapple. It’s correct. But did you notice that three out of four words are spelled correctly? The Bremen psychologist Bea Engelmann likes to use this example when she is asked to explain the core of so-called positive psychology .
“She wants to enable what Aristotle calls the ‘good life’,” says the expert. “It’s about adding to the good in everyday life, looking at what’s already good and what could be good.” Most of us rarely succeed in doing this. We don’t pay attention to what we’re good at. Instead, we look for mistakes and quirks. “Because we’re afraid of criticism,” says Engelmann. “We’re always afraid someone will say, ‘Don’t be conceited.’
BOOK TIPS
“Flourish – How people blossom” by Martin Seligman, Kösel, 480 pages, 24.99 euros
“Positive Psychology Therapy Tools” by Bea Engelmann, Beltz, 282 pages, 34.95 euros
“Welcome to the Mutzone” by the same author, Carl Auer, 178 pages, 17.95 euros
We suspect that we are then no longer so lovable. And immediately mentally enter a perfection competition : “I can paint well, but my neighbor can do it better.” – “I can organize, but nobody plans as well as my colleague.” So we put enormous pressure on ourselves.
“We would never do that with a good friend,” Engelmann points out. “Of course we know their shortcomings . But instead of telling her how awful they are, we say, ‘Cheer up, it’ll be fine.’ We should do the same with ourselves. We are our best friend.” Sounds like rose-colored glasses. And that’s exactly what critics of positive psychology accusealso proposes: What does not make you happy will simply be ignored. “Not true,” counters Engelmann.
“She focuses on the positive and at the same time helps to accept weaknesses lovingly and benevolently.” We know these all too well. Our inner critic brings them before our eyes with beautiful regularity. “So there is no danger that we will only see the good,” encourages coach Bea Engelmann. But do we even see it? Do we know what strengths we have? No. And that’s a shame.
Engelmann has therefore developed a test exclusively for Tolfioow with which you can track down your potential. “Everyone has their strength profile. And can change it,” the author encourages, “strengths can be trained.” You can also find out how here. And finally: “Knowing your strengths makes you strong,” says Engelmann. This is even shown by the posture: “We can literally stand by ourselves.”
You can download the test here:
