A kind of psychological request concert – that’s it, we often think, when the small and large annoyances of everyday life get the upper hand again. Then we would wish for a large portion of discipline, because another month has passed in which the fitness subscription was not even used to the full. Or more guts and ingenuity to parry a colleague’s flippant remarks more confidently and eloquently.
Sounds good but is illusory you think? Because you can’t change as an adult? You can, as the latest psychological and neurobiological findings show. Accordingly, character is not a rigid something that is partly given to us in the cradle and partly developed in childhood. On the contrary: Characteristics and core elements of human nature such as endurance, fairness, curiosity, humor, enthusiasm, creativity or integrity can be trained regardless of age.
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Develop character strengths
“I am what I am” – that doesn’t help anyone
And that seems to be worth it. Because those who work to develop their character abilities and strengths live happier and healthier than someone who stubbornly follows the motto “That’s the way I am and that’s the way I’ll stay”.
At least that’s what the representatives of positive psychology say , a young branch of science that was founded a good ten years ago by the renowned American psychology professor Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania. The researchers led by Seligman are primarily concerned with the question of what makes us happy, how we can get to know our mental resources and how we can expand them in everyday life.
To this end, they have developed, among other things, a comprehensive test with which you can find out your strongest characteristics. Experts from the Chair of Personality Psychology and Diagnostics at the University of Zurich have adapted this scientific instrument for the German-speaking world and put it on the Internet for study purposes, where anyone interested can work through the test (see extra box).
The genes shape the character
Genes, upbringing and experience shape character
Even without an online test, you can track down your character. “This first step, self-knowledge, is the prerequisite for honing your personality,” says Dr. Mathias Jung, Gestalt therapist and author from Lahnstein (“My character – my destiny?”, Emu-Verlag). Only the navel-gazing hardly works alone. “As far as our own traits are concerned, we have a blind spot and tend to idealize ourselves,” says Jung. Most of the time you recognize yourself well in the mirror of others, through reviews from friends and family members. “However, the ideal school of character is relationship. Asking your partner what they like and dislike about you is the best way to get information about yourself.”
But to what extent can the character be changed at all? What is certain is that our personality is partly genetically determined, but a large part is determined in the first years of life by upbringing in the familyand formed our social environment. Incidentally, the brain plays a lifelong role in character formation. Neuroscientists use the term “neuronal plasticity” to describe the ability of our thinking apparatus to construct new nerve cell interfaces and complete networks when we have incisive experiences or learn something. These synaptic decisions influence how we behave in similar situations in the future. A constantly growing and changing structure that, according to researchers such as the Freiburg neurobiologist Prof. Joachim Bauer, largely determines what we feel and what character traits come to light.
Great feelings and crises motivate people to change
From a psychological point of view, it is the classic opposites of love and suffering that make us take stock and change our behavior. “Sincere love and loving interactions fuel empathy and mature us. Just like crises and emotional collisions,” says therapist Jung. In the case of negative experiences, questions can help: “Why did that go wrong? What part did I have in it?” That encourages change, says Jung, who is convinced that everyone can shape their own character: “However, this requires consistent work, because personality traits cannot be switched on and off. Patience and the will to change are essential.”
Easy exercises to do at home
Easy exercises to do at home
Tolfioow has put together exercises for important characteristics together with the Department of Personality Psychology at the University of Zurich. They seem simple, but they still give you the competence to build up strengths in a targeted manner. They might even encourage you to create your own exercises. As with playing the piano or learning vocabulary, the same applies to character training: the more often you practice, the faster you will rethink and build new habits, and the desired behavior will eventually become second nature to you.
For more discipline: find a role model, someone whose “stamina” you envy, and try to emulate them. Just the thought of role models has a motivating effect, as US researchers recently demonstrated: test persons who thought of a disciplined acquaintance held out longer when pressing a hand muscle trainer than those who had someone lazy in their head. Whether it’s a job, a diet or a sports program: take on something that you can actually achieve! Plan intermediate steps so that you don’t lose track or lose interest. Another trick: Make your goals visible (e.g. take a photo of yourself before the four extra kilos were on) and let them motivate you.
For more authenticity/inner strength: Stop the negative spiral by consistently switching what usually pulls you down to positive thinking – without fooling yourself. Instead of “I completely screwed up the exam”, I prefer: “It didn’t go well, but I’ll prepare better next time”.
For more creativity: Whether it’s a watch ad, a politician’s head or a candy bar – cut out pictures you like from magazines and transfer your thoughts to your situation. This creates wild connections, you approach a problem from completely different directions. It is also effective to look at a situation from different perspectives, as in role-playing games: be the dreamer and let your imagination run wild. But also be the realist who examines how good ideas can be implemented. And finally mutate into a critic who checks usable results for weak points.
Train purposefully
Once you know how you want to be, you can train purposefully
For more social skills: Show your human side with little things, for example by helping a mother carry the stroller up the stairs. Give way to someone turning left behind a queue of cars, etc. Reactivate old contacts, spend more time with family and friends. Pay attention to your behavior: If you appear polite, you show respect to others – and this is usually returned.
For more courage: Why did I chicken out? The more clearly I analyze doubts and concerns, the more concretely I can plan reactions and mentally anticipate future worst-case scenarios. Because knowing what to do when all else fails gives you the composure to face the situation.
How am I?
You can have your character profile determined free of charge with a scientific personality test at the University of Zurich. The psychologists have put a questionnaire with 264 points online at www.characterstaerken.org . Click through – and you get a list of its salient features. The researchers are currently working on a follow-up program to strength training.
For more optimism , spend 15 minutes each night focusing on the positive things that happened to you during the day. This changes perception, you become more attentive to pleasant things, see a different part of reality and go through life in a more grateful and friendly way.
That’s what matters
That’s what matters
When it comes to the psyche, fears or depression are often the focus. The US psychology professor Martin Seligman calls for more attention to be paid to the neglected good qualities of human beings. Together with his colleague Christopher Peterson, he evaluated philosophical, religious and psychological sources from different cultures. The scientists identified six positive core qualities and associated character strengths that keep popping up and that are worth developing:
Wisdom and knowledge With our cognitive abilities such as curiosity, critical thinking, creativity and a love of learning, we can gather and use knowledge. If these strengths are promoted, it increases the practical mind and the wealth of ideas.
Bravery/Courage A distinction is made here between three aspects: psychological courage (to overcome crises, for example), moral courage (if, for example, there is a risk of loss of prestige) and physical courage (if one overcomes the fear of pain and injury). In general, the term combines emotional strengths such as perseverance, diligence, integrity and enthusiasm, which means that we pursue a goal and do not let external difficulties, inner doubts or resistance deter us.
Humanity Standing up for others, making friends, approaching someone openly – characteristics from the interpersonal area such as sympathy, friendliness, social intelligence, the ability to bond and the ability to love help.
Transcendence This includes meaningful characteristics that also create a connection to a higher power. These include gratitude, optimism, humor, spirituality and a sense of beauty.
Justice This term brings together social strengths that promote coexistence and a functioning community – e.g. B. Teamwork, fairness and leadership skills.
Moderation Knowing when to do the right thing and when to avoid doing the wrong thing is a skill that protects us from excess, and not just about eating, drinking, or using drugs. What is meant above all is the ability to keep one’s feelings and motives in view. Characteristics such as humility, forgiveness, caution and self-esteem help.
