At the peak of her career, Heike von Joest resigned from the executive chair of an employers’ association
. “I jumped into my new life at my own request and without a safety net. A life without travel, without a driver and a secretary to coordinate my appointments. A life without income, without the usual media attention and without the chance to make the perfect decision that will benefit 8000 companies. For three years I was the general manager of the Gesamtmetall employers’ association and loved the challenge of constantly finding new solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems. Higher, faster, further – that was my motto. But then, at the age of 42, I became pregnant for the first time. I’ve always had a familywanted and didn’t want to do things by halves, even as a mother. It was immediately clear to me: I’m going to quit and turn my life around. Today I ride my bike to work – and I don’t earn anything anymore. Because I work on a voluntary basis for the Berlin Citizens’ Foundation. Over the past three years, I have learned from my new colleagues, who all do unpaid work for a good cause, and from my children that some things take time to develop. And that not everything can be adapted to my pace. Instead of telling others what to do, as CEO, I motivate my employees anew every day. My priorities have shifted significantly. I have become calmer and more reflective and grateful when I could help a socially disadvantaged person. The step into a new life was worth it.”
Countess Beatrice von Keyserlingk founded an aid organization after the death of her boyfriend
“My friends say I’m brave. All I know is that I don’t want to give up. When my friend Christian died in 2003 while working as a war reporter in Iraq, I was paralyzed. I couldn’t eat or drink anything. Our planned marriage, the child we wanted to adopt, the dream of a future together – everything was gone. It’s hard to deal with such a big loss. But life doesn’t stand still. Because Christian can no longer do that, I try to implement his vision of a peaceful life. Together with his parents, his boss, his colleagues and closest friends, I set up the Christian Liebig Foundation (www.christian-liebig-stiftung.de). She should help where my great love and I would live today: in Africa. I’ve been flying to Malawi regularly for nine years. We built 19 elementary schools there. Highly motivated children sit on the school desks and learn writing, arithmetic and foreign languages. Meanwhile, we’re raising funds to add a girls’ dormitory to the school building. As long as the girls have to spend the night in poor straw huts on floor mats because their way to school would be too far for the daily journey home, their lives are in danger. Sometimes I’m asked how I manage, in addition to my job as a goldsmith, to be there for the African children until the evening hours, on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the senselessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.” Highly motivated children sit on the school desks and learn writing, arithmetic and foreign languages. Meanwhile, we’re raising funds to add a girls’ dormitory to the school building. As long as the girls have to spend the night in poor straw huts on floor mats because their way to school would be too far for the daily journey home, their lives are in danger. Sometimes I’m asked how I manage, in addition to my job as a goldsmith, to be there for the African children until the evening hours, on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the senselessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.” Highly motivated children sit on the school desks and learn writing, arithmetic and foreign languages. Meanwhile, we’re raising funds to add a girls’ dormitory to the school building. As long as the girls have to spend the night in poor straw huts on floor mats because their way to school would be too far for the daily journey home, their lives are in danger. Sometimes I’m asked how I manage, in addition to my job as a goldsmith, to be there for the African children until the evening hours, on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the meaninglessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.” arithmetic and foreign languages. Meanwhile, we’re raising funds to add a girls’ dormitory to the school building. As long as the girls have to spend the night in poor straw huts on floor mats because their way to school would be too far for the daily journey home, their lives are in danger. Sometimes I’m asked how I manage, in addition to my job as a goldsmith, to be there for the African children until the evening hours, on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the meaninglessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.” arithmetic and foreign languages. Meanwhile, we’re raising funds to add a girls’ dormitory to the school building. As long as the girls have to spend the night in poor straw huts on floor mats because their way to school would be too far for the daily journey home, their lives are in danger. Sometimes I’m asked how I manage, in addition to my job as a goldsmith, to be there for the African children until the evening hours, on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the meaninglessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.” As long as the girls have to spend the night in poor straw huts on floor mats because their way to school would be too far for the daily journey home, their lives are in danger. Sometimes I’m asked how I manage, in addition to my job as a goldsmith, to be there for the African children until the evening hours, on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the meaninglessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.” As long as the girls have to spend the night in poor straw huts on floor mats because their way to school would be too far for the daily journey home, their lives are in danger. Sometimes I’m asked how I manage, in addition to my job as a goldsmith, to be there for the African children until the evening hours, on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the senselessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.” to be there for the African children on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the meaninglessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.” to be there for the African children on my days off and on vacation. I just want to do something good to counteract the senselessness and emptiness that Christian’s death left behind. Having no more children of my own makes me even happier to help the young people of Malawi.”
“My boss was flabbergasted when I quit my permanent position. I’m not the typical dropout. On the contrary, I’ve always enjoyed going to the office. But the desire to go on a trip around the world with my boyfriend grew stronger and stronger. I wanted to be free. Finding out what it’s like to live without a permanent home, without a well-organized everyday life, without knowing what the next day will look like and how you will end it. I wanted to get to know foreign cultures and break new ground. So in just a few weeks I got rid of half my life. I quit my old apartment and sold all the furniture on Ebay, from the sofa to the chest of drawers. My silver convertible, which I bought with the first money I earned myself, also had to take a beating. Oddly enough, I didn’t find it difficult to separate myself from everything material. I found it rather liberating to declutter your own life. Anything that didn’t fit in my parents’ attic was thrown away. I only had a queasy feeling when I sat on the plane without health insurance but with a “Round The World Ticket”. I just thought: My God, what am I doing here, I’ve had a really nice life? For eight months we both traveled from country to country, from continent to continent. We made friends with locals in Cambodia and cruised down Australia’s lonely north coast in a camper van. We were independent, self-determined and happy. We’ve been back for four weeks and are urgently looking for a new apartment. For the time being I’m living in my parents’ spare room between boxes with the leftovers of my old life. But that was worth it to me.” Anything that didn’t fit in my parents’ attic was thrown away. I only had a queasy feeling when I sat on the plane without health insurance but with a “Round The World Ticket”. I just thought: My God, what am I doing here, I’ve had a really nice life? For eight months we both traveled from country to country, from continent to continent. We made friends with locals in Cambodia and cruised down Australia’s lonely north coast in a camper van. We were independent, self-determined and happy. We’ve been back for four weeks and are urgently looking for a new apartment. For the time being I’m living in my parents’ spare room between boxes with the leftovers of my old life. But that was worth it to me.” Anything that didn’t fit in my parents’ attic was thrown away. I only had a queasy feeling when I sat on the plane without health insurance but with a “Round The World Ticket”. I just thought: My God, what am I doing here, I’ve had a really nice life? For eight months we both traveled from country to country, from continent to continent. We made friends with locals in Cambodia and cruised down Australia’s lonely north coast in a camper van. We were independent, self-determined and happy. We’ve been back for four weeks and are urgently looking for a new apartment. For the time being I’m living in my parents’ spare room between boxes with the leftovers of my old life. But that was worth it to me.” when I sat on a plane without health insurance but with a “Round The World Ticket”. I just thought: My God, what am I doing here, I’ve had a really nice life? For eight months we both traveled from country to country, from continent to continent. We made friends with locals in Cambodia and cruised down Australia’s lonely north coast in a camper van. We were independent, self-determined and happy. We’ve been back for four weeks and are urgently looking for a new apartment. For the time being I’m living in my parents’ spare room between boxes with the leftovers of my old life. But that was worth it to me.” when I sat on a plane without health insurance but with a “Round The World Ticket”. I just thought: My God, what am I doing here, I’ve had a really nice life? For eight months we both traveled from country to country, from continent to continent. We made friends with locals in Cambodia and cruised down Australia’s lonely north coast in a camper van. We were independent, self-determined and happy. We’ve been back for four weeks and are urgently looking for a new apartment. For the time being I’m living in my parents’ spare room between boxes with the leftovers of my old life. But that was worth it to me.” from continent to continent. We made friends with locals in Cambodia and cruised down Australia’s lonely north coast in a camper van. We were independent, self-determined and happy. We’ve been back for four weeks and are urgently looking for a new apartment. For the time being I’m living in my parents’ spare room between boxes with the leftovers of my old life. But that was worth it to me.” from continent to continent. We made friends with locals in Cambodia and cruised down Australia’s lonely north coast in a camper van. We were independent, self-determined and happy. We’ve been back for four weeks and are urgently looking for a new apartment. For the time being I’m living in my parents’ spare room between boxes with the leftovers of my old life. But that was worth it to me.”
Table of Contents
These women said yes to change
Learning courage – in five steps according to psychologist Dr. Andrew Dick
1 Make the right decision. Those who develop a feeling for what is right and what is wrong are more likely to have the confidence to make important decisions.
2 have hope and confidence. Risks can only be taken when hope is greater than fear.
3 Have a vision. Anyone who develops personally and does not bother with petty intrigues and selfish games will also achieve their goals.
4 Demonstrate free will. Always obeying others doesn’t get you anywhere. It is important that you feel what you want yourself and what wishes are still there subconsciously.
Take 5 risks. If you don’t dare, you don’t make mistakes, but you don’t achieve success either.
“It was April 26, 2006 when I was diagnosed. ‘Your child will most likely have trisomy 21,’ said the gynaecologist. I was five months pregnant and in shock. I cried and was afraid of the unknown, of social rejection and of not being able to accept him. The doctor advised me to have an abortion late, especially since this child will certainly never study, as he said. At that moment, my grief turned to anger and a fighting spirit. Just because my child isn’t perfect, I still love them! My husband, my familyand my friends supported my decision. Five months later I held Phil and thought he was beautiful. The only thing that worried me was his severe heart defect, which required an operation. Phil needed extra attention and patience from day one. He still gets physiotherapy and riding therapy today. When he could walk a few steps for the first time at the age of three, I cried with happiness and pride. Phil is truly one of a kind. He can remember everything and is incredibly tidy: crumbs on the plate are not tolerated. He has already enriched our lives so much. And he made me stronger. When strangers stare at him, I no longer look away uncertainly, but withstand the curious looks. I’ve gotten braver. I now know what is important. For example, that Phil, like his seven-year-old sister Chantelle, can go to a normal school. That is not a matter of course. With a child that special, you have to fight for things that other mothers get easily. But Phil’s infectious laugh makes up for everything.”
“I lead an unusual life for a student. I am driven to summer festivals, exhibition openings and church festivals in the company car. Strangers approach me on the tram (‘You’re our mayor, aren’t you?’) and sleeping in comfortably is a thing of the past. I get up at seven o’clock sharp. This is the only way I can do justice to my duties as mayor, including my master’s degree. Five years ago I joined the Greens party and soon became a city councillor. But I never would have dreamed that at the age of 24 I would be asked if I could imagine the post of third mayor. I absolutely couldn’t at first. A mayor who bikes to lectures, goes to university parties and crams for her German exam? Unimaginable for me! For three weeks I weighed the pros and cons. Only then did I have the courage to say yes and seize this opportunity. As mayor, I represent the young people of Herne and I can be a role model for other women with a migration background. I myself was born in Iran and came to Germany at the age of eight. My father is incredibly proud that his daughter has been mayor for a year and a half. In day-to-day work, my office as a deputy for the mayor is purely representative. I hold greetings, hand over prizes – and unfortunately also learn that as a newcomer you have to survive one or the other intrigue of political opponents. But life shouldn’t be too easy.” As mayor, I represent the young people of Herne and I can be a role model for other women with a migration background. I myself was born in Iran and came to Germany at the age of eight. My father is incredibly proud that his daughter has been mayor for a year and a half. In day-to-day work, my office as a deputy for the mayor is purely representative. I hold greetings, hand over prizes – and unfortunately also learn that as a newcomer you have to survive one or the other intrigue of political opponents. But life shouldn’t be too easy.” As mayor, I represent the young people of Herne and I can be a role model for other women with a migration background. I myself was born in Iran and came to Germany at the age of eight. My father is incredibly proud that his daughter has been mayor for a year and a half. In day-to-day work, my office as a deputy for the mayor is purely representative. I hold greetings, hand over prizes – and unfortunately also learn that as a newcomer you have to survive one or the other intrigue of political opponents. But life shouldn’t be too easy.” My father is incredibly proud that his daughter has been mayor for a year and a half. In day-to-day work, my office as a deputy for the mayor is purely representative. I hold greetings, hand over prizes – and unfortunately also learn that as a newcomer you have to survive one or the other intrigue of political opponents. But life shouldn’t be too easy.” My father is incredibly proud that his daughter has been mayor for a year and a half. In day-to-day work, my office as a deputy for the mayor is purely representative. I hold greetings, hand over prizes – and unfortunately also learn that as a newcomer you have to survive one or the other intrigue of political opponents. But life shouldn’t be too easy.”
